Where has the time gone?

I just stumbled across this blog. I actually had forgotten I had started it. It is already 4 years since I last wrote in it. So much as happened.

What have I accomplished? I have lost that 50 lbs! I still want to lose 20 more, but I dropped 3 dress sizes and feel and look great. My daughter graduated college last year. She is engaged to be married next year and the preparations are in full swing.

I graduated from ECU with my degree in business and even went on for my Master's in Education in Training and Development. This year however, I chose to discontinue with my master's. It was just too much work and I am tired of school, frankly. It was the best move. I feel like I have gotten my life back in the evenings and weekends and have spruced up my home and increased exercise .

My son graduated high school and is the owner of a business that does production work for film, commercials, and marketing videos. He is doing so well.

I am still at work in the same position, though, thankfully, I have had a little progress on raises. I am up for another, and if all goes well with the paperwork, maybe by the end of the year I will have good news.

Probably the most trying times I have had this year is with all my pets. Both my dogs and my cat are close to or beyond expected life expectancy. My Dalmatian is 13 and have tons of arthritis issues. We are close to having to put her down. I had it scheduled once and could not do it. But she isn't getting better. I am hoping that when it is time, we will get a clear signal that it must be done.

My black lab and basset hound mix is going on 14. He is actually still doing quite well. Though he is a bit slower and losing a bit of his eyesight and hearing, he still comes bounding in after being outside ready to play or get his milkbone dog biscuits which he loves!

My cat is going on 19! She is also doing well, though I have noticed she is losing weight and her coat is now getting a bit shabby.

Bill and I are actually looking forward to our 50's. We do feel once our pets pass, that we won't get any pets for a while. We will wait til retirement because we are dying to travel together. Bill travels the world several times a year and I want to go with him atleast once or twice a year. Next month he is in Berlin and I would love to go, but need to stay back to be with the pets.

Well, that's it for now. Maybe I will begin to post more here. Or, maybe it will take another 4 years. Maybe I will be a grandma by then!! :-)

Cheers....

To be a coconut or not to be...

I recently had one of my classes at ECU post this discussion question and, don't know if it was the light beer I had tonight or what, but below is my answer. I probably freaked out the rest of the class:

Question:
Suppose you were left on an island for the rest of your life alone. No one else will ever live on the island with you. The island is plush and beautiful. You have enough shelter and food to last for a lifetime. Under these circumstances, what would make life significant and meaningful for you?

My answer:
There are days when I open my eyes and lay in bed and bemoan that it is a weekday. The thought of the routine of life starting it's engine is overwhelming. Oh, not again! Getting up, showering, brushing teeth, going through a couple of outfits looking, not for one that looks stunning, but just one that is functional and fits. The goodbyes and kisses to the kids and hubby, the quick cup of coffee. Grab a breakfast cookie for the road.

There are days at work where I look around at my cube and wonder, why am I doing this? There are nights that I sit and write on discussion boards the philosophy of life, and wonder, why am I doing this?

I can step back and walk down the quiet hallway of my darkened house tonight, as it is 10:33pm and everyone else is asleep, and I can look into the bedroom of my beautiful daughter and the answer will come to me in wisps of emotion. Or, peak into my sons room, even though I have to look past the nuclear waste dump on his floor, I can find the source of my daily mantra...I will do it, I must do it.

When I associate the meaning of life, it is ever so apparent in my children. They embrace so much of what life is about, innocence giving way to knowledge, dreams giving way to reality, and hopes giving way to achievement.

I know that at some time, I will separate my sense of achievement and meaning of life and realize my own abilities to affect the world in a positive way. Right now though, the best gift I can give the world is two beautiful people.

If I were on an island without my family, my husband, my brother's, my mom or dad, I would be lost. Perhaps if I had something to write on, I could hope to pass on something to someone. But one has to wonder, if I were to accomplish grand things on this island, who would know? Would there be meaning in my accomplishments? Does a falling tree make a sound in the woods if no one is around to hear it?

Waiting...

I'm waiting...I am waiting for my children to come home after a week with their dad in California. I have missed them tremendously. These days, I wait for them a lot. No longer do I control their actions or destiny. Those days are long gone. At the ages of almost 17 and almost 20, they control their lives. Well, at least the fun aspects of their lives.

Last week I was waiting, too. Waiting for my husband to return from a two week business trip that took him to Bangalore, India and Seoul, South Korea. This year has been a lot of waiting for him to return. His travel has increased triple fold.

At work I wait a lot, too. I am a manager for an IT group for a local university. I am always waiting. Waiting for solutions to ongoing technical issues. Waiting for the workload to subside. Waiting for a promotion or raise. Being that I work for the State, the latter will see me waiting a long time!

Personally, I have been waiting a long time for things. I have been waiting to finish my Bachelors degree in Business. I have been waiting for that epiphany that will set me on my course to lose 50 pounds. I have been waiting for the stress levels to subside. I have been waiting to win the lottery!

I think I am about done with waiting. I think I am ready to take action. There is not much I can do with my children as they become adults and find their place in life. It is true I no longer can direct their movements, but I don't think I should dwell on waiting anymore. I need to let them experience and share their joys and sorrow; but I should not wait. I need to go on with my life. This way, one day I will wake up and realize, "Hey! They are coming home today!". No waiting, just a sudden realization of joy.

I am going to bank my vacation time. Next year, I will focus on attending some of those business trips with my husband. No waiting for him to return. Instead, I will experience new places, cultures, and keep my marriage alive and vibrant. After all, he is my partner, my friend, my lover.

I am graduating with my degree in December 2009. Exactly five months from yesterday I will walk at my graduation ceremony. Twenty six years later than I had hoped for, but so what? I am doing it and I will do it. No more waiting.

And today I start my blog. It is a start to taking action. Action to stop waiting and start doing. So I am doing. I hope that in the subsequent entries, I can reflect on what I am doing and accomplishing. How I am relishing my children's growth into adulthood; how I am discovering the world with my husband; how I am keeping my mind growing and body healthy.

No more waiting...